Everybody tends to escalate problems and issues by putting so much effort and energy into the exact thing they don’t want. I have done it, you have done it, everyone has done it and most still do it. I learned a while ago that I was always directing my focus into exactly what I didn’t want. Luckily I leaned early on how to actually resolve issues by bringing my attention to what’s important. What I always say “What you focus on grows” means so much in this particular situation. Just as it does in about every situation, the results that we get in anything is all based on where and how much of our focus we have placed into it.

Imagine yourself in an argument about anything. You or someone else has just addressed something that is wrong. You or that other person keep bringing up the problem and you are focused on how everything went wrong. Then it gets to the point where you start the blame game. Then it gets personal. I’m pretty sure you know what happens next. It only gets worse. Now, another example. You or that other person address something that is wrong. However, this time instead of consistently bringing up the problem or issue and you instead begin to focus on the solution to the problem, there is a totally different outcome. No one is being blamed. No one gets angry. No one gets personal. Everyone will actually feel much better because the main focus was the solution. The Result = Problem Solved.

Remember, any problem or issue you have whether it is with another person or yourself, always focus on the solution. Don’t forget, the solution to the problem is what you really want, not one problem escalated into several more problems!